In this time of COVID, pastors and funeral directors have had extra time to get to know one another. Normally, we spend our time together with the business aspects - what are the songs? What are the cues? Where are we driving to for the graveside service? And since we typically meet each other only two or three times a year, there is little opportunity to know each other any better. But with COVID, we are spending more and more days together.
I was recently speaking to a funeral director and the question came up - have you ever noticed that there is “fun” in “fun-eral”? We had some time to kill and began sharing stories of strange and comedic events that we’d found around funerals. Like the time the three daughters of the woman decided during family visitation hour that the young funeral director had left Mama too bland and dignified, and so they decided to add garish red lipstick to Mama’s lips, as well as rouge to her cheeks and strong eyeliner to her eyebrows. Not content with this, they decided that Mama look somewhat, er, flat lying there and went to get a box of tissues to increase her dimensions.
Another time was when the clamp in the hearse that locks down the casket wasn’t completely tightened down. All was good until the hearse began to climb one of those wonderful West Virginia hills, and the casket moved backwards. Thankfully, the rear door was securely locked, or Auntie might have flown out and into the family car. As it was, the hearse had to be carefully parked at the cemetery, for Auntie wanted to roll out the back of the hearse into the waiting arms of the pall-bearers.
Then, there was the time when I was asked to sing a song at the funeral, which I began about ten minutes into the service. Unfortunately, about the time I finished the first stanza, a freight train came running up the tracks which were just in front of the funeral home, blowing its horn at each street, and drowning out my singing. Half the people in attendance were in shock, while the other half were working very, very hard to keep from bursting out laughing.
But the most fun I’ve had at a funeral was when I led a service for a friend of mine. The woman had been a math and music teacher for many years, and had about a half-dozen children, all of whom were strong Christian believers and had musical talents. The woman had played the piano, violin, dulcimer, and many other instruments at church for years, and her son and her visited the hospital to sing and play music every Tuesday evening. On Wednesday, she was a regular at Bible Study, even though she was in her early 90’s, often closing the meeting with prayer. On Friday mornings, she was always at the church food pantry at 11 am to sign people in. But this particular Friday, her son had noticed her car was still at home at 11:15, so he checked on her and found her in the floor. She was diagnosed with an inoperable brain bleed, and she passed away Saturday evening with her family around her, singing hymns which echoed down the hospital corridors.
At the service the next week, about 150 family members from five generations were present, along with another large group of friends from the community. There was no piped in music at this service - the family sang the hymns in multi-part harmony, filling the hall with their sound. There was no doubt that this woman was entering Heaven’s gates, and she had her own family choir and orchestra to send her in. Not everyone was a believer before the service, but several stood up and said they now understood how Jesus had given their great-grandmother her wonderful personality, which she had practiced for decades upon decades. And all I could do was to think how saintly and holy this wonderful woman would be with another ten thousand years of practice. THAT put the fun in funeral for me!
And so, when you visit your next funeral, remember that a funeral is not the end. In fact, it is the “end of the beginning”, to quote Winston Churchill. This is when we who are Christians recognize that our training has ended - and we now step forward to enjoy eternal life. And point this out to our children and grandchildren. It will make their lives better.